Family Dynamics and the Interplay of the Five Elements
A successful young female entrepreneur once said to me during a casual chat, “My brother is so unambitious; I need to buy him a few apartments in Beijing and help him find a wife. In the future, he will have to rely on me.”
I replied, “Your thinking is quite alarming; this is a typical case of Metal controlling Wood! Your brother is the eldest son in the family, and the eldest son belongs to Wood. Wood is noble and can stand tall, so your brother must be independent. While he is still young, he needs to forge his own path and experience life for a few years; this is necessary. You should encourage him to start his own business. You, as the daughter of the family, belong to Metal. If you take on all the family responsibilities and also build him a house and find him a wife, that is Metal occupying the position of Wood, which is very dangerous. Your brother may end up being useless for life. If your brother is unambitious, can your father feel at ease? This is called Wood cannot generate Fire. If the eldest son is successful, that is called Wood generating Fire. If your father is not at ease, your grandparents will not be happy in their old age; this is Fire cannot warm the Earth. If this continues, the family will never be happy, and may even develop illnesses.”
The relationships among family members can be summarized using the Five Elements:
In a family, the elders belong to the Earth position, which governs vitality. It is often said that the benefits of family members are like the elders who can generate all things; the father belongs to the Fire position, which governs the spirit, and when he is polite and timely, he can guide all things; the mother belongs to the Water position, which governs essence, and must take on the family responsibilities to nourish all things; the eldest son belongs to the Wood position, which governs nature, and must have benevolence, not throw tantrums, and have ideas to establish all things. The remaining family members belong to the Metal position, which governs emotions, and must be able to reconcile feelings, avoid gossip, and distribute all things. When each family member maintains their proper position, the family naturally thrives, achieving the “harmonious family” as mentioned in the Great Learning.
Of course, some may argue that modern family situations are quite special, as many are only children without siblings, leaving the Metal or Wood positions vacant; and in a family of three, there are no elders, so the Earth position is also absent. Some families are even DINK (Double Income, No Kids) families, with no children at all. What should be done? I believe that if only one daughter is born, she can take the Wood position, as Wood is noble and can stand tall. Now that men and women are equal, an only daughter must also be independent; the Metal position can be filled by cousins or sons-in-law or daughters-in-law; as for families of three or DINK families, there may still be parents or in-laws who are elders, just not living together. How can this be ignored? This involves the issue of filial piety. Families that are completely disconnected or have no relatives are rare and certainly not very happy. A family is connected through various relationships and ties; the fewer ties there are, the less stable it becomes. The rising divorce rate in modern society is also a reason for this.
If the relationships among so many people in a family are not handled well, the family will be in chaos, and such families will definitely have patients.
The elders are in the Earth position, but many elders are unwilling to quietly enjoy their old age and often meddle in affairs, especially criticizing their daughters-in-law, which is called Earth controlling Water.
If the daughter-in-law is controlled, and there is disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, she will inevitably complain to her husband; or if the housekeeper is too assertive and finds her husband incompetent, then the family’s Yang Fire cannot rise, which is called Water controlling Fire.
If the parents are controlled, it is inevitable that they will have a bad temper, and the younger generation in the Metal position will be afraid; or if the parents are too stubborn and self-righteous, thinking highly of themselves and worrying about their children, taking care of everything, this is called Fire controlling Metal.
If the younger son, daughter, or daughter-in-law is controlled, they become very unambitious, and the eldest son will worry; or if the people in the Metal position are too assertive, occupying the eldest son’s Wood position, leaving the eldest son idle, these are all cases of Metal controlling Wood. If the eldest son is controlled, he will resent the elders and be unfilial, which is Wood controlling Earth.
With all this controlling, family members inevitably argue and cannot find peace. We often hear that wives control husbands, elders control children, and children control parents; in fact, this is not entirely superstition. It is just that it is not the case of the birth date and time being incompatible, but rather a clash of personalities. Once there is a clash, emotions are bound to be poor, and someone will get sick.
How to adjust? When advising a patient, if during the conversation, it is found that the patient often brings up family matters with lingering concerns, one should guide them like this: How does your son behave at home? Is he filial? How does the father behave? Is he kind? How do the mother-in-law or daughter-in-law behave? Are they harmonious? If not, then that is not in accordance with the way, and the Five Elements are not correct! If the Five Elements in the family are not correct, how can the Five Elements in the body circulate? How can there be no illness? Therefore, one must first repent.
Some may say, “I am not at fault; the disharmony in my family is their fault.” This is also wrong! Only seeing the faults of others and not recognizing one’s own mistakes is still too heavy in temperament, which is very dangerous. One must quickly find their own faults and look for the strengths and benefits of others. In this way, the temperament can be transformed, the mind can become clear, and when the mind is clear, the illness can be easily cured.
The disharmony in families is a hidden pain in many hearts. Physical illnesses are a hidden danger for many. Misfortunes do not come singly; many people suffer from both. Has anyone rationally thought about the connection between the two? Confused, they get sick at home but insist on going to the hospital for treatment, never realizing that the problem lies at home!
◎ Editor: Volunteer Teacher Bi ◎
This platform is built for Volunteer Teacher Bi
To promote the method of treating diseases through sexual principles
Following the teachings of Teacher Liu Shannian
Thus named “Liu Shannian Talks About Illness”
◎ I hope more people can come into contact with “Liu Shannian” through this name and learn the method of treating diseases through sexual principles. If there are any fated connections, whether it be physical or mental illness, may they all be transformed, allowing you to be less sick and more healthy.
All content on this platform is unrelated to Teacher Liu Shannian himself; please do not misunderstand that it is the teacher himself; thank you for joining the sexual principle therapy method learning platform, and let’s progress together from today!
In my view, the two major issues in life are the true problems. One is the issue of physical and mental health; the other is the issue of family harmony. Other issues are minor or not even problems.
Such as career and wealth, all are products that arise under the pillars of physical and mental health and family harmony. Without these two pillars, everything you possess—wealth, assets, career, houses, cars—is empty talk. However, many people currently place more importance on the latter than the former, exhausting their efforts to achieve fleeting success. In the end, they lose their health and break their families, ending up with nothing but regret.
Physical health and family harmony have become major social issues that should be taken seriously.
Here, I recommend a good book: Let the Sunshine Naturally Shine: Speeches by Liu Yousheng.From this book, one can find methods for treating physical and mental illnesses, methods for achieving family harmony, as well as wisdom for self-cultivation, self-development, and self-awareness.
If you find this book helpful, please recommend it to others after reading, so that more people can benefit. Being healthy is a virtue, spreading health is a merit, and through your hands, it spreads further…
Finally, I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to all the volunteer friends who participated in the input, proofreading, review, printing, and circulation of this book!